This blog is no longer being updated. Last post was “Farewell”.
“The only thing which you really need,” he said as he looked directly into my eyes, “is balance.”
My problem is that whenever I want to disagree with him, I don’t. I can’t. Same is the case when I want to agree with him. He has got that something in himself which makes me feel that he is my greatest friend and, at the same time, my greatest enemy. Who he really is for me, is still a mystery.
I have known him ever since I have known myself. He is always there to criticize on my decisions and make me go mad. He is always there too when I need some help. He has been my right hand (and left too) during all my ultay seedhay plans. Still I don’t think I have been able to understand him. All I know about him is that he is both a genius and an idiot. A devilish angel, whose only job in the world is to guide and mis-guide me.
When I first told him that I am going to quit Blogistan, he had laughed so loudly that I thought he would burst. When I asked him why he was so amused, he replied that he doesn’t think that would do any good to me.
“And why not?” was my question.
“Because you think that by doing this you’re going to start studying,” he was still smiling, ” which I know you wouldn’t.”
I silently agreed, though I wanted to disagree. And now that I am typing these lines, I admit that he was right.
He had laughed again very hard when I told him that I am going to resume my journal. “I knew it. I always knew it.” And as I looked at him with slight waves of anger in my eyes, he laughed again. “Look my friend, the only thing which you really need,” now he was looking into my eyes, “is balance.”
“What do you mean?” I felt irritated.
“I mean you need balance.”
“But you know that I am good at doing many tasks at the same time.”
“Agreed. But how many times have you completed those same-time-tasks successfully?”
I was silent. He laughed again. “That’s where balance comes in.”
What followed was a complex lecture on what I was mis-doing. He thinks that if only I know how to strike balance among so many interests of mine, I can become such a great person like him. (I couldn’t say that I disagree with the ‘like him’ part.) He said that if I try just a little I can know how to be a ‘balanced’ person. And he also said that I’ll always need his help.
Why would I always need his help?
“Because I live inside you.” He said.
I checked. He was right. He really lives inside me. In fact, he is me.
Or I am him. Don’t know.