This blog is no longer being updated. Last post was “Farewell”.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Yes. I am alive.
Not that I am having some near-death experiences, but it’s only that I am busy. And how exactly do you define busy? My dictionary says that when one works with ‘concentrated attention’, one is busy. I completely fail to meet this definition. Attention, specially concentrated attention, is one of those things which, when come near to me, face an immediate repulsive force, which pushes them as far as about 100 meters away. (I never measured though. It’s a rough estimate). And the funny thing is that I don’t even have to concentrate to repel things like concentrated attention. (OK, it’s a dumb thing I said). It’s like a natural phenomenon, a reflex action, which operates itself when it finds itself appropriate to come into action. Needless to say that it almost always finds itself appropriate to come into action.
So how do I justify that I am busy?
First, I have to define what I mean by ‘being busy’. For me, being busy means being busy. It hasn’t got any definition. It hasn’t got any meaning. It’s one of those abstract concepts which when named, make themselves clear in your mind, and still if somebody asks you to give a concrete explanation about them, you are unable to do so. Just like love. Not that it means that, for me, being busy means being in love. Both being busy and being in love would hate me for it.
So now, may be you have got a slight idea of what I mean by being busy. And if you haven’t, don’t worry. Chances are that I am with you. Because sometimes when you are trying to explain something, you yourself don’t know much about it, and still you go on and on, filling pages and speaking words about that certain something. Just like what I am doing right now: typing like I have got no other thing to do other than preaching my abstract concepts, and still saying that I am busy. It’s all about that charm, you know. That charm of being busy. When you see the world around you engaged so deeply in its activities, you try to do the same. You try to be the part of the world. You forget who you are, and you want yourself to get engaged in some sort of activity too. You try to taste that charm. You try to be busy. And you try it so hard that you put behind yourself that cause, which, other than that charm, was responsible to make you come up and walk beside the world. You walk with the world and you leave your goals behind. You don’t look back, and when/if you ever do, those goals of yours are nowhere to be seen. Vanished from the face of the earth. The funny part is, you don’t even realize you have lost something. What you do realize and care about, is that charm. That charm which keeps on telling you that you are busy, and you can’t afford to waste a single second.
Pretty ‘charming’ concepts I have got, huh? Maybe you disagree with them. You have full right to do so. As for me, I don’t know if I agree or disagree, because I am too busy to give these concepts a second thought. I have to go and walk with the world, you know.