This blog is no longer being updated. Last post was “Farewell”.
Finally when I looked at my hands, I saw blood.
It was the blood of my victims. Victims, who were brutally murdered by me. Victims, who were crushed by my cruel will of crushing them. Victims, who had no right to live. Victims, who had no right to live because I didn’t want them to live. Victims, who didn’t deserve a single ounce of mercy. And victims, who were mosquitoes.
I don’t know what occupied me but I just couldn’t do anything except to kill those annoying creatures last night. I mean, come on. You are sleeping in your bed and dreaming about how you have saved the world from a team of horrible, out-of-this-world-aliens, and just when you are beaming at the flood of people, waving your hands, and receiving the applause you rightly deserve, a sharp pain in your cheek forces you to wake up and notice that even though you could combat aliens who invaded the earth in your dreams, you can’t just beat a group of little insects who invaded your bedroom in real life. (Note, however, that I have never had such a dream. I just wrote that to make my point clear). So you scratch your cheek, roll to your side and go to sleep again, hoping that you could resume watching that dream right from the place where it was broken, and find yourself awaken again due to another (or same) mosquito. So the thing you should do is, switch the light on, spot the mosquitoes and crush them between your palms. And try to focus on your objective, not at the thought that your actions are making you look like… you-know-who (No. Not Voldemort.)
As far as mosquito repelling mats and creams/lotions are concerned, they have never worked in my case. Besides, who need them when I have got my hands who scored 13 last night.
So what’s your highest score?
36 comments
Owl
Oct 5, 2004 at 10:46 pm
Lol, you had me worried for a minute there.
My record is four within a minute. Family says I’m like Mr Miagi, except without the chopsticks, karate skills, and Asian-ness. But still, very Mr Miagi like.
knicq
Oct 6, 2004 at 4:12 am
You evil, heartless man ….
The poor li’l things take .000001% of your blood over a period of 365 days, and you flush 100% blood out of 13 of them in one day!!!
…. what sort of a justice is this???
You …. you …. er… ummm… you…
BUSH!!!
Asma Mirza
Oct 6, 2004 at 4:16 am
Assalamo alaykum w.w.!
LOLZ…. that was a good one ! Well, mine is as far as i can remember more than 25 !
Devilish acts seldom Die !
Moiz
Oct 6, 2004 at 5:40 am
well,when i was living in a hostel in malaysia, 1 of my friends who had d same problem as u, well,he killed alotta mosquitoes, & stuck them on d softboard on d wall infront of his study desk-believe me,somehow it worked-after all those 2dozen bodies stuck up there, he didnt have any more mosquitoes bothering him!
& well, a friend of mine(a chinese gal) was told by d accomodation officer 2 keep 1 KG of garlic peels in c corner of her room,dat wud drive away all of them, she replied,but sir,dat will even drive me away…!(& i am NOT calling her a mosquito here…)!
yeah, d fabricated dream did make it interesting thou…!
a better way 2 use those repellant mats is not to put them in their holders to burn all night, just hold them wid some tongs,or scissors,& light them wid a match,& walk thru d room-then count d bodies strewn all over d battle field…!
or mayb ur just sweet blodded-like they tell me…if theres 1 mosquito,& 10 ppl there including me, d damn thing wud choose me…!
Best Blogs in Asia
Oct 6, 2004 at 2:39 pm
I was worried also!
AWK
Oct 6, 2004 at 4:28 pm
You are still not a tees maar khan.
chij bachee
Oct 6, 2004 at 7:16 pm
Dont you just hate it when they go like ‘weeeen-eeeen’ in your ear? Pulling sheets over your head doesnt work, you can still hear them! Then I usually get paranoid and imagine I can hear the irritating ‘eeeeeen’ even if it really isnt there!
Mosquiteos Suck!
huma
Oct 7, 2004 at 3:08 am
grrr, mosquitoes should be exiled to a galaxy far far away.
and i never killed mosquitoes with my hands – used to electrocute them with the gadget you get, thats sort of shaped like a tennis racquet. revenge in the form of smelling burning mosquities is extremely satisfying.
Laura
Oct 7, 2004 at 5:34 pm
Dude, Avon has this stuff, ‘Skin So Soft’ bath oil which repells mosquitos and is non-toxic. You just mix it 1 part water, 2 parts SSS. I use a spray bottle for it. You should try it!
Saadat
Oct 7, 2004 at 7:40 pm
Everyone: The mosquitos have not shown themselves since the ‘slaughter’ I had done. Now, are they afraid of me, or are they preparing themselves for a full war?
Owl: Now that’s the right thing, I’ll be counting my victims per minute too from now on (if they show up, that is). And if you’re Mr. Miyagi like without chopsticks and karate skills, you’ll be raising some serious hell for mosquitos if you are with them!
Knicq: Hahaha! That’s called blind justice. And that’s a great idea: I’ll hang a sign on my bedroom door saying ‘Bush here’, and the mosquitos will never enter
Asma: Wa-alaikum-us-Salaam. More than 25? I mean, 25? Do you offer courses in mosquito combat? I’d love to get myself enrolled.
Moiz: Now that’s a nice idea (burning-the-mat thing), I’ll try it if the mosquitos return. And LOL, you’re sweet blooded? How’d you know?
BBiA: Nah. There isn’t anything to worry about. I call this place ulta seedha, right?
AWK: LOL! Let the mosquitos return, and I’ll show which-number maar khan I’ll be.
Chij Bachee: Oh yes, how did I forget to mention that ‘weeeen-eeeen’ sound. Next time you hear it, use your hands instantaneously. Who knows you might become a great nishana-baaz!
Huma: And what would we do if the mosquitos are sent back here from the folks at galaxy far far away? I’ll try to get that gadget, by the way. Wars have gone so scientific these days!
Laura: Hmm. Skin So Soft bath oil. Don’t know if it’s available here. But if it is, I am going to give it a try. (God, I’ll be purchasing a bath oil to fight mosquitos!) And tell Avon that if it works, I’ll manage 6 apples as a reward!
Sadiya
Oct 8, 2004 at 12:51 am
yeah! you gotta kill em aaalll! or they’ll keep eating you! i just got a mosquito bite on my foot last night! and he escaped! i thought they all died in the cold but this guy is obviously a survivor. im gonna have to hunt him down and destroy him! muwahahaha
Abez
Oct 8, 2004 at 4:44 am
I kill them by the hundereds bro, I use Mortein! Mwahahaaa!
knicq
Oct 8, 2004 at 5:52 am
1998, PCBA – Lahore, knicq and Madi were driving a whole lot of people crazy reciting the machar joke to them. We would relate the joke with the same fervor, if not more, for the umpteenth time to the SAME person, and laugh our hearts out at the end of the joke – EVERYTIME.
- and to think it was actually a joke about a man who caught a machar! They hated us!!!
Put a machar in a room, in a joke, or in a blog, and soon the wheeeeeen starts, an before long there is blood!
Laura
Oct 8, 2004 at 9:17 am
Saadat, Here is the stuff I was telling you about. E-mail me yer snail mail address and I’ll send you some. Really!
Aysh/Phoenix
Oct 9, 2004 at 6:30 pm
The moment I read the first line, I knew u were talking about mosquitoes! HA! Me… 14. I killed 14 at a time… and that too with my chapppal.what you should do is get those mosquito repellent mats. instead of putting them in those machines you ought to burn them and then down come all the mosquitoes ‘fainting’, crashing like little jets and you stomp on them. he he. it works all the time and then ofcourse you’ll have to turn on he fan. And sweet dreams.
Saadat
Oct 10, 2004 at 10:01 am
Sadiya: Oh yeah! Hunt ‘em down. All of ‘em!
Abez: Mortein! Well, I don’t have Luees in my room, so morteins don’t work for me!
Knicq: That’s what a machar is … hilariously annoying!
Laura: Thanks for the link
I’ll try it now.
Aysh: Oh well, if a bio-tech scientist with an IQ of 136 wouldn’t guess by reading the first line what I was talking about, then who would, right? And you used a chappal to kill them? God, you are even more brutal than me.
Aysh
Oct 10, 2004 at 12:25 pm
He he he very funny!
I use chappal ’cause I dont want their blood on me… it can be on my chappal… 
no problem with that.
Saadat
Oct 10, 2004 at 3:47 pm
Right! *goes in search of his joggers*
Anum
Oct 10, 2004 at 5:03 pm
#1!!!
i did it, once. one fine night, one was floating in mid-air, almost bloated with blood (you could see a little ball of red bobbing up and down, struggling to hover) and there…… SMACK! the blood splattered on the white-coloured sheets of our bed with its wings battered against the palm of my hand.
it was a spectacular sight….. XD
ps.ps. i’m so sorry most of my updates have been so far and inbetween, since most of my lj is friends-only now::: maybe you should sign up, i’ll add you, and you can read the rest of my entries
faiza
Oct 10, 2004 at 7:30 pm
sab ko kis kaam pay laga dia hay ,,her taraf say weeen-weeen ki sadayen buland horahi hain..hay na sab kuch ulta-seedha!!:s
anne
Oct 10, 2004 at 10:29 pm
hahaha. for a while there, i got scared, seriously! then, you started saying something about mosquitoes and i started cheering on, yeah, you’re right, you really SHOULD crush those bloodsuckers!!
If your hands turn sore from all that “macho/superhero” combat against mosquitoes though, just spray some baygon in your room, that should work, just as well. hehehe.
anyway, thanks for visiting my blog!
Ozzy
Oct 11, 2004 at 1:20 pm
Bhai you should be a contract killer!
Zenia
Oct 12, 2004 at 4:40 am
murderer…….*scared & lukin around* eeww run for your lifes……..
btw gud one……lolzzz
Zenia
Oct 12, 2004 at 4:43 am
but my second expression is eeeeyyyyoooo………….grroossssss
Moiz
Oct 13, 2004 at 12:21 pm
lol @ ozzy!
phoenix gave d same idea-dat was just wot i meant,incase u didnt understand…
to…ab koi takleef nahin hai??saare machar khatam??
Saadat
Oct 13, 2004 at 3:48 pm
Yeah. Machar khatam. Zukam shuru.
Aaaaachhhoooo!
Saad
Oct 14, 2004 at 2:43 am
machars r annoying
, waisay starting was I good. I thought its one of urs fictional posts.
never counted my score.
Saima
Oct 15, 2004 at 11:17 pm
When I first came across ur blog,I was like “oh no,i’ve stumbled across sum crazy psychos blog and it;s my duty to report him 2 the cops”….reaching the end of the post,all I can say is “LOL”..Articulate ol me
VirtuousLady
Oct 16, 2004 at 9:45 pm
Hehe, nice post! Have you heard … ek macher sala admi ko ijRa bana deta hai? LOL
Anyway,
Happy Ramadan!
Sadiya
Oct 17, 2004 at 6:43 pm
Khayr Mubarak Saadat. How ya doin? no Ramadan post?
Karl
Oct 18, 2004 at 3:51 am
I dun know that whats my score, but mosuitoes keep scoring aaaahh *scratches hand*
NJ
Oct 19, 2004 at 8:52 pm
serial killer in blogistan… interesting… u write very well MashaAllah…
Ramadan Mubarak to u…
Zenia
Oct 22, 2004 at 6:59 am
Ramadan Mubarak…..where is Ramadan’s Special han…..i still see the old ones
Aysh
Oct 22, 2004 at 7:21 pm
No posts in Urdu… Saadat?
jogia
Oct 22, 2004 at 7:55 pm
pak sar zameen shad baddd!!!….
Karl
Oct 22, 2004 at 11:12 pm
Oii kissi nay Kishwer ka naam bhi lia na to soch lena bas :@ un k pati bohat zalim hain hitler uncle k kuch sagay lagtay hain.